you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Randomize
