pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
