puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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