guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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