well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Duck Duck Cougar?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
