At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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