You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
