its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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