I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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