I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
