It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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