could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
