he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
