and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
