he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
