he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
