I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
