I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
