in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
