Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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