We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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