Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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