i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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