I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
