After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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