someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
