It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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