I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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