Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
