Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
