In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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