My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I wish i was in the wii world.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
