i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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