bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
‪Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best. ‬
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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