We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
a search helicopter?!
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
