So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
