then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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