at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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