I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
