: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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