I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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