Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
