Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
