Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
That accounts for only three of the penises
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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