so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
