and you said cock pushups were impossible
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
