I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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