How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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