i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
