im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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