I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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