If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
